I knew I had to make a change when I started taking responsibility for others. I sympathize for those who think they’re crazy – chained to a bedside table filled to the brim with medication. They toss back prescribed pills like tic tacs and I conduct a melody for the evening, queuing up songs that never had meaning until now.
When I’m alone, the songs stretch across my mind like lyrics were legs. The drum pattern matches with my own that’s dribbling in my chest; or maybe my own heart is speeding up, chasing the tempo of the song. Our song.
It’s crazy how much I sacrifice just thinking about you.
Your energy sinks into mine. You are a label-free tea bag, slouched in my cup, but I’ll still pull on your string and bring you to the surface. It’s my fault you weren’t made to float.
I am responsible for how little responsibility you take.
You travel in reverse, off the road, into a ditch. I’m scared to handle your shifter, so we eventually settle for park.
I don’t want to be stuck in neutral with you. You’ll refuse to tap the accelerator even if I offer to push.
Maybe if I found a way to successfully maneuver in reverse we would stop arguing.
You want to look back. I don’t.
I keep my focus forward and watch our destination shrink into a “there’s always tomorrow” mirage.
I’ll just stay put in an idling parked car that’s speakers hum some song that makes me think of this moment right now.
* * * If you have random ideas for free write topics, please comment below and I’ll write another one!