I don’t know about you, but a lot of things get to me, frustrate me and make me feel dissatisfied.
A majority of people’s first impression of me is that I am strong and tough. Someone once told me I am like a good candy bar: hard on the outside, soft on the inside. Yes, of course I take this as a compliment but I don’t agree with it at all. Sure, I’m a candy bar – more like a melted one that’s been left out in the sun, sticky and making a mess of things. All in all, I am a very sensitive person. A lot of things rub me the wrong way (too many things do). This can be a good trait, since I set my standards high when it comes to the way I want to be treated; but on the average day, having the mentality that someone is intentionally hurting me is not healthy.
When we are hurt or have hurt someone else, we need to remember that we are all human. We are free to feel however we feel. We are free to express ourselves as we please. It’s our mind and body – we are in control. With that being said, when things hurt us, it’s because we are allowing them to.
No one can control your emotions except for you.
Yes, I know, there are rude and manipulative people everywhere, but in all honesty, how much are they really ruining your day? How much are you going to let this asshole get to you?
Change your perspective.
You and your friend have a misunderstanding. She’s not hearing what you have to say; you are too frustrated to listen. So on and so forth. Yes, it hurts, believe me I know.
But you know what hurts more?
When your significant other cheats on you.
When you find out the news that a close family member is ill.
Don’t let the small stuff get to you.
I’ve started to learn that I’m not disappointed in people; I am disappointed with MYSELF. Why am I letting these small little conflicts ruin my day? Why am I setting expectations for someone who I know is not going to reach my standards? This doesn’t make them a bad person – they don’t know what I want – I am ridiculous for even making the expectation.
You are in control.
Anytime I have ever come to my parents with a problem, whether it was already resolved or just getting started, my dad always asked, “What could you have done differently?”
Fuck. I don’t want to answer that! I don’t want to admit that I was wrong. But he’s right. I need to take responsibility for my actions, realize the changes that need to be made, and remember that for next time.
If you are unhappy in a situation – that is on YOU. You are allowing the situation to use your energy. Invest your energy into something that is going to benefit YOU in the long run. Don’t hate on the person who is bringing you down, YOU are bringing you down.
If you have a hit a wall in a relationship and you are unhappy TAKE ACTION. Do not put it on the other person. They are human too and have the right to their feelings and choices. If your feelings are not mutual, if you don’t see eye-to-eye with important parts of the relationship, it’s time to cut ties. Be the stronger person and take action. For all you know, your friend or significant other could be happy as all hell – they don’t want a break – but these are your feelings and you may need to step away from the situation temporarily.
This is your life. Don’t stick around for something that’s not going to get better. If you aren’t mature enough to handle the conflict, step away.
Anytime I have ever felt unhappy, I self-reflected and took action. When I have admitted to a close friend that I am unhappy, he/she always replies with, “What can I do? What can I change?” And it’s never them! It’s on me; everything I feel is my own responsibility. There’s no use blaming someone for my own feelings.