Love | Dahv Logic

L

Love. 

This is not another relationship post; when I say love, I don’t mean romantic!

You can love a friend without needing to fill a sexual void. If you do, and your “friend” feels that same way, well, you are no longer friends. When it comes to friends or significant others, they should love you through everything. If you are upset, anxious or aggravated, they should never hesitate to offer you a hug, pull you off to the side or give you a call if you aren’t together.

There should never be an excuse. If this person feels the same way, they will use their resources and find a way to reach out to you when you need them the most!

Frankly, showing someone your love for them can be different when the relationship hits a rough patch. Sometimes I literally want to throw my friend out a window or leave the room in the middle of an argument with my boyfriend; but I have to remember the rough patch is temporary.

If you genuinely love someone, you take the bad with the good and measure out the pros and cons. If the pros outweigh the cons – even amidst an argument – you sometimes have to be the stronger person.

There are times when I have to stifle my need to bitch and rat my friend out, because I realize we are both being childish. It’s a waste of an argument. Within a few hours, we are going to act like nothing even happened; not because we are stubborn when it comes to handling conflict, but because we both realize focusing on the positive will spring us forward.

True friends strive to see you grow through life, not stall and stress over the silly things.

Even when I get into arguments with my boyfriend – whether they last a few minutes or prolong a couple days (depending on the topic) – sooner, rather than later, I focus on all the strong points in our relationship:

He took me to my favorite restaurant.

He bought me flowers the other day.

He was there for me when my friend was being a bitch. 

…and the list goes on!

The same applies to my friends.

If someone is your true friend, only YOU can change his or her opinion of YOU.

Love is Loyalty.

If your friend believes everyone else BUT you, he or she is not a true friend.

You two should share your own pact of trust that is not influenced by anyone else. Your business is YOUR business. If your friend is intruding on your romantic relationships, this will add tension between you and your boyfriend/girlfriend. Other than that, stick to your own business and be happy with what you have with your friend. Don’t fixate on what you THINK you deserve from your friend.

This past semester, I was enrolled in an Ethics course. One of the last topics my professor went over was about the meaning behind friendships. Philosopher Jane English claims that friends do not owe each other. Friendship is established over a shared love, mutuality!

I definitely agree with this!

People show each other love in different ways! People make efforts – big or small – depending on their available resources!

I don’t mind driving my friends around who don’t have cars, especially when I know they will give me gas money or offer to pay for my dinner. Being a writing major, I like writing pieces for my friends or boyfriend (i.e. parodies, poems, prose pieces etc.). I’m not going to expect my friend who is a math major to write me a book. But if she writes me a sweet note or buys me a pack of gum, I’m happy!

Love is taking the time to understand another person.

Love is being patient because you trust that tomorrow will be better.

Love is considering another person’s feelings or intentions when you are upset too.

Love is never forced.

Love is doing something for someone because you want to, because it feels right, and it feels right because you know they love you.

#DahvLogic

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