I believe there are key rules to keeping an intimate relationship solid. There are many do’s and don’ts that seem to be overlooked in certain relationships, because one of the partners get comfortable.
Hmm…Comfortable – what do I mean by that? I mean exactly how it sounds:
He stops making an effort with romantic gestures.
You stop doing special things for him.
You expect him to do most of the chores around the house/apartment.
He feels entitled to do whatever he pleases because you’ve been together for a couple years.
Oh wow – a couple years.
Last night I celebrated five years with my boyfriend. This isn’t just any guy; he was my first kiss, first boyfriend and first everything else. We have lived together for the past three and half years. We’ve never taken a break.
Gentlemen, here are some rules to keeping your relationship strong:
Pick up the fuckin’ phone and call your girlfriend. As sappy as it sounds, hearing your voice once a day via the phone makes our day significantly better. You should want to talk to us. Ask us about our day; we’ll ask about yours; we’ll tell you we miss you, vice versa. Stop making excuses. I don’t care if you lost your phone, the battery died or you are so called “busy.” If you actually cared about your girlfriend, you’d find a way to talk to her.
A couple years ago, my boyfriend went on a skiing trip and left his phone charger at home. (Yes, I was livid). By the time he was coming home, his phone had died (figures). Within twelve hours I had heard from him via someone else’s phone. I picked up the phone and the first thing he said was, “I told you I had your phone number memorized.” (Okay fine, you win)!
2. Romantic Gestures
Let’s say you’ve been dating a chick for a couple years who isn’t a fan of flowers or jewelry or romantic gestures at all.
Dude. She’s fucking with you.
Any woman who says she doesn’t like getting flowers is being ridiculous. WOMEN LOVE FLOWERS. WOMEN ON MARS LOVE FLOWERS.
When a man gives us flowers, we are in instant “attack mode.” We are literally ready to pounce because we just absorb that cuteness. If you’ve been dating your girl for a couple years, and she starts wanting flowers and jewelry after witnessing one of her close friend’s getting flowers, don’t be a douche bag. Yes, you probably will never be Prince Charming – she knows this – but at least try. Don’t roll your eyes at the fact that just because she’s seeing another man be romantic that she now wants you to be. Don’t be a baby. Use this as a future reference.
You are dumb enough to think we don’t like flowers and WE are dumb enough to think reverse psychology works on you. We are both in the wrong. But seriously, buy your girl flowers. It doesn’t have to be every day or week or month even. Try three times a year: her birthday, your anniversary and Valentines Day. It’ll make a difference.
As for women: Your man CANNOT and will NEVER be able to read your mind. If you tell him to do something for your birthday or anniversary, he will do JUST that – nothing more and nothing less. If you tell him “Oh babe, just take me out for my birthday. I don’t want presents.” He’s going to fucking wipe his brow and be happy that you don’t want him to spend that much money on you. He will definitely not surprise you with a bouquet of flowers at the table when you arrive at the 5 Star restaurant (please do not expect him to take you to the 5 Star restaurant…ladies, calm down).
Here’s an example… Four years ago when my boyfriend and I were celebrating our first anniversary, neither of us had much of a dime to our name. That Friday evening, I came home to a candle lit dinner he made for us. The next morning I woke up to a small bouquet of flowers. This boy had no steady job or any type of income. Over the past few months, he had started to save up spare change so he could afford a couple things to give me. That’s determination.
From day one, my boyfriend has been affectionate and extremely attentive. Every day he told me how beautiful I am. When we started dating, I had recently gained a few pounds and was insecure about the way I looked. He never commented on my body unless it was something honest and sweet. Even when I started to lose the weight and then lost a substantial amount when I went to college, his thoughts of me never changed. He has influenced me to be the confident person I am.
Men, say only nice things to your girlfriend. I can’t stress this enough. Don’t comment on her weight if she looks a bit bloated, don’t comment on her hair unless you like it, don’t comment on her outfit unless you love it. Because sweetheart, you are FAR from perfect.
You see, when it comes to giving you compliments, we do NOT use reverse psychology. If we like a certain shirt, pair of jeans or shoes you are wearing, we will tell you. You are dumb enough to not listen to us and wear the shoes we hate. If we do not compliment your outfit, we do not like it. Women can never shut up. Your outfit must be horrible because it seriously makes us speechless. If we make that extra effort to get our hair done and wear that one sexy top – we think we are doing it for ourselves, but in all seriousness, we are doing it for you – please try looking decent.
You can’t sit there in your sweatpants and worn-out sneakers and tell us that we can’t pull off a certain outfit or hairstyle. What do you know about style? Shut up.
Your girlfriend is ALWAYS beautiful. She is amazing. If you think you can do better or deserve better, then there’s the door honey. I’d like to see you try.
Your girlfriend can pull off any outfit or hairstyle. She will always look perfect to you. If you tell her how beautiful she is, she will most definitely pull it off for you. 😉