I’ll keep this short and sweet, which is how most apologies should be presented.
What’s the best way to apologize?
Before you even get started, be sure to pull your head out of your ass. Realize that you made a stupid decision and put your ego and self-entitlement on the shelf; better yet, lock it in a drawer because this may take a while depending on the situation.
Rule # 1:
Similar to a break-up, do not do this via text.
It’s one thing if you forgot to call someone back or to mention something; but if you seriously betrayed their trust don’t text: “I’m sorry.” Who are you? A kindergartner? Man up! Personally, if someone were to send me an apologetic text, I would probably not respond. You have something to say? Say it to my face.
Rule # 2:
Do not make the problem about YOU.
Don’t use excuses like:
“I’ve had a lot on my plate…”
“Something came up…”
“Things aren’t good right now…”
YES! Things aren’t good right now; you were just an asshole to someone who does not deserve it. A proper apology involves the words “I’m sorry,” admitting that what you did was wrong and the promise you’ll never do it again. You could even slip in a “How can I make it up to you?” What would make that better is ACTUALLY making it up to them! WOW! What a concept. If you want this person back in your life, start making that effort.
Rule # 3:
Go the extra mile and SHOW them how much you appreciate them.
On top of apologizing, try giving them a personal gift. This shows that not only do you appreciate their company/relationship, but you took the time to go out and think of what they would like (this involves not thinking about yourself)!
Frankly, I am very easy to please. If a friend of mine said or did something wrong and wanted to make it up to me, this would definitely keep my attention:
1. Buy me a pack of gum or something that has to do with dogs
I love gum (any gum really) and I love dogs. Really easy. This shows me that you went into a store, realized how much of an asshole you were and THOUGHT of me (keeping your ego on the shelf).
Last year, a close friend of mine and I got into this huge misunderstanding. I had confronted her the next day and she apologized instantaneously. After the weekend, I saw her and she greeted me with an apology note and stuffed animal. Instantly forgiven.
If you really care, you will make that extra effort.
If you have hurt me, I don’t want to hear about how bad you feel or how lost you are.
Shut up, calm your tits, put your ego on the shelf, say you’re sorry and buy me a pack of gum.