Cars & Coffee Shops


If I were to assess some of my past relationships, I’d have to say the progression of them were all very similar. I’m not saying that the essence or bonds were alike, but the environments – per say – could be categorized similarly:

Cars and coffee shops.

Go ahead, laugh. But then, think about it.

I’ve always felt that the two most intimate places, besides your own home or bed, were inside people’s cars and inside coffee shops. Most people love coffee; whether it’s hot, cold, with or without whipped cream/foam, people want it. Who doesn’t love just sitting in a Starbucks for a couple hours, sipping a mocha or two while sharing a few stories with a friend while splitting a danish?

I’ve had some of the best conversations with people over coffee.

I’ve also had some pretty awkward encounters over coffee.

In my opinion, I think the two most intimate meal times are dinner and breakfast. Think about it. Your date takes you out to dinner; you get all dressed up. The night goes well. Where do you usually end up? (Exactly). What happens after a lovely night of “cuddling,” if the guy isn’t a player and the girl doesn’t fear becoming attached? Breakfast.

Dinner usually marks the end of your day. You’re with your friends, date, or significant other, and you are ready to relax. Breakfast marks the beginning of your day. You may not be as relaxed, maybe a bit stressed, but let’s say you have the day off. If you’re not fully-rested, some things may slip out at the breakfast table that wouldn’t have the night before at dinner: “Why haven’t I met your parents?” “What are ‘we’ exactly?” “Will I ever see you again?” “I think I love you…”

I would classify coffee as being a daytime wine. There is something sexy about wine; there is something sexy about coffee. Wine has the romantic and alluring factor. Coffee is captivating thanks to it’s caffeine and strong versus sweet taste, or sweet versus strong taste. The way you drink your wine, and what you drink for wine shows how cultured you are. How you drink your coffee, and what you drink for coffee does the same. When you are sitting with a friend in a coffee shop, drinking coffee, the conversation always seems to flow differently. Anytime my friends have wanted to get coffee with me, it never just ends at coffee. “Let’s get coffee” usually translates to: “I really want to tell you something.”

I may sound ridiculous, but think about it! Some of my best friendships have started over a cup of coffee, some of my best friendships have ended over a cup of coffee. Remember…a coffee date is more than just a “coffee date,” just like how dinner is more than just “dinner.”

Now I shall digress to my second point: cars.

Most stories, movies, tv shows and people in general, label cars as being the place to have sex or do drugs. Want to keep something from your parents? Do it in your car. As for me, I’ve never had to resort to my car or someone else’s car for that matter. Instead, I’ve found myself having really deep conversations in cars. Conversations that never came up over coffee, dinner, or breakfast.

Think about it like this. The moment before a date ends or progresses, where are you? Yes. You’re usually in your date’s car. He is driving you home and is about to drop you off or is offering to take you to his place. (How sweet).

The weird thing about a car is that, it’s meant to transport us from place to place. If so, why the hell do we find ourselves sitting in cars or standing near our cars with no intention of leaving?

It’s the end of your date, you should be getting the hell out of there; there are four doors, four windows; why are you still there?

Like coffee, there is something sexy about a car, especially if you are the one driving it. You feel in control. If you don’t want the friend or significant other to leave, you lead the conversation, like you lead the car.

When a topic gets deep enough, it’s hard to end it. Your coffee cup could be empty; you may have work to do, but it is so much easier to invest time emotionally than it is mentally and academically. It’s the same concept as when we are too lazy to do homework or chores. We just sit around and watch TV or surf the web. At some point, you get bored by the thought of what you actually have to do and are instantly attracted to something you should not be associated with.

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