Erin and Kay are sitting at a table having lunch. Kay seems distracted and bothered.
ERIN. How was your weekend?
KAY. Could have been better. (Sighs) A bit distracted.
ERIN. Have you two –
ERIN. I bumped into her on my way over here. Saw Kelley too. They were together –
KAY. Good for them. (Fake smiles)
ERIN. If you want to talk, just know I’m here.
KAY. What is there to say, Erin? (Pause) Maggie and I haven’t spoken since… thinks) last Thursday. I-I don’t even know what to say anymore. I’m speechless.
KAY. You know what bugs me the most? (Chuckles) She didn’t even give me a birthday card. (Looks at Erin) She told me that buying the card was more important to her than buying the gift! (Pause) She couldn’t even get me one.
ERIN. At least she got you a gift though, right?
KAY. I could care less. (Sips her drink) She used to write me notes.
ERIN. Were they bad?
KAY. No. They were sweet. She’d write me notes a lot. (Leans back) One Friday, I was leaving to go home, and I found one on my windshield. It was a notecard. One side had my name and the other had my definition.
ERIN. What was your definition? Perfect? (Laughs)
KAY. Yeah. (Erin stops laughing) We got into this stupid fight in the hallway one day before our classes. I wrote her a quick apology note, cause I wanted to give it to her before her next class. Before I could even hand it to her, she gave me one. (Pause) She got me a coffee that night too. (Laughs)
ERIN. What did you two have to fight about?
KAY. (Sips her drink) Have you ever been so confused about something that it just made you upset? (Pause) My sophomore year of high school, I took some advanced algebra class. The class was wicked hard for me. Everyone in the class was ahead of me. It was fuckin’ embarrassing. I ended up passing the class with a C. (Leans back) Anyway. Before tests I would try to meet with the teacher to go over the material. And before each test we’d have a quiz. For this particular chapter, I did really well on the quiz. I got like a ninety-five on it or something. I was pumped! I was like, damn, I must get this. Finally! (Leans forward) I meet with my teacher. I take the test. I feel great. I feel good. (Pause) That next week – it was on a Monday – we get our test back. Everyone gets a test back except for me. (Pause) Class ends. Teacher comes up to me and hands me my test. I got a fuckin’ twenty-five. (Annoyed) She steps back, crosses her arms (crosses arms) and said, “I don’t know what to say.” (Pause) Because I did so well on the quiz, she was sure that I was going to at least pass the test. Hell, I was expecting to pass it as well! I was speechless. So I just said, “Me neither,” and cried. I fuckin’ bawled. And of course, midterm grades were coming out the next week! What was going to happen? What was I going to say to my mom? Oh Mom, I almost got 100 on the quiz, but I failed the test. Aren’t you proud of me? (Pause) As I sat there bawling my eyes out, my teacher had the decency to ask me why I was crying. Before she walked out of the room, she told me, “The more you practice and the more you try, then the less upset you’ll be.” (Pause) Too bad that only applies to academics.
ERIN. Not always, Kay. (Pause) How long have you and John been together now? Three years? Are you telling me you just ignored him and let the relationship grow? (Laughs) Come on, Kay.
KAY. But that’s a relationship that was meant to be.
ERIN. (Sighs) Oh, Kay. You and Maggie will work it –
KAY. What’s the point? She doesn’t care anymore! We haven’t spoken in almost a week. (Pause) She used to be stuck to me like glue. She’d walk me to class, we’d have meals together, and we’d do homework together. (Laughs) I was being suffocated.
ERIN. You should have talked to her then.
KAY. (Angry) You don’t think I did? You think I enjoyed this? (Pause) She meets me and a couple weeks later she breaks up with her boyfriend. Who else did she have to cling onto?
ERIN. (Confused) Boyfriend?
KAY. Yeah. Kyle. (Pause) She broke up with him outside of the library right before I met her for dinner.
ERIN. When was this?
KAY. Couple weeks before Halloween. (Confused) She never told you about Kyle?
ERIN. Never heard of him. Kelley probably knows
KAY. (Shrugs shoulders) They started dating over the summer. I don’t know. That’s what Maggie told me.
ERIN. Yeah. I believe her. (Laughs) That’d be a stupid thing to lie about. (Laughs)
KAY. (Upset) I never thought being just friends with someone, could be this difficult.
ERIN. Neither did I. (Pause) You two should set boundaries…different boundaries.
KAY. At this point only two things can happen. (Pause) Either she talks to me and fixes it, or…or I’ll just end it.
ERIN. Why can’t you fix –
KAY. What do you think I’ve been doing? I’m the reason this friendship has lasted as long as it has. (Pause) If-if we ever had an argument or misunderstanding, even after we’d apologize, she wouldn’t talk to me unless I said I was over it. I-I initiated any small changes in our relationship.
ERIN. Small changes?
KAY. You know that table Mag and I sat at the other night? (Erin nods) She calls it “our table.” Cause, cause it was the first table we ever sat at together. We have to have dinner there. We can sit anywhere else for lunch, but we must sit there for dinner. (Pause) One night some of my friends invited me to have dinner with them and of course I invited Mag along. Because we weren’t going to sit at our table, she blew me off. She said she had the stomach flu. Next day I saw her when I got out of class, she was smiling and looked well rested. Looked so fuckin’ happy to see me. Hugged me, kissed me on the cheek. (Pause) Who the fuck lies about a stomach flu?
ERIN. She wanted you to care about her.
KAY. (Laughs) I was dumb enough to. (Pause) Gave her a get-well card that day. (Sighs) Wow. She just loved the attention.
ERIN. No. (Shakes head) She just loved you.
Kay sighs heavily and stares at Erin. Kay then looks down. Erin grabs her hand.
Kelley’s dorm room. There is one well-made bed stage right, upstage. To the right of the bed is a larger dresser. A desk is right beside it. Stage left downstage is a mini fridge. Kelley walks onstage wearing a hoodie and baggie jeans. She tosses her backpack beside her desk. Maggie follows her onstage and places her stuff on Kelley’s desk.
KELLEY. Make yourself comfortable. You know the drill. (Takes off her hoodie and opens up her dresser)
Maggie sits down on Kelley’s bed.
MAGGIE. It’s been awhile since I’ve been here, huh? (Looks over at Kelley) I like that shirt on you.
Kelley grabs a different sweater and slips it on.
KELLEY. Semester’s been crazy I guess. (Walks over to the mini fridge) Thirsty?
MAGGIE. No, thanks.
KELLEY. (Gets a drink from fridge. Sits at her desk) You tired?
MAGGIE. No. (Takes sweatshirt off) I slept well.
KELLEY. (Stares at Maggie) I uh…I like that shirt on you. (Sips drink)
MAGGIE. Yellow’s my color right? (Giggles)
KELLEY. Every color’s your color, Mag. (Sips drink and sits beside Maggie on the bed)
MAGGIE. How’d you sleep last night?
KELLEY. Not too well. (Shrugs shoulders) You’ve been really upset about the whole Kay thing and…(looks at Maggie, smiles) look; my place is your place.
MAGGIE. (Touches Kelley’s arm) You’re really great. (Kisses Kelley on the cheek)
Long pause. Maggie and Kelley stare into each other’s eyes.
KELLEY. (Moves away) Whoa. (Stands up) You wanna go for a walk?
MAGGIE. (Confused) Kell, what’s wrong? (Stands up, across from Kelley and grabs her hand) Look at me. Talk to me.
KELLEY. Shh. Shh. (Puts finger to Maggie’s lips) Can…can you do something for me?
KELLEY. Can you look at me and smile?
Maggie looks into Kelley’s eyes and smiles, giggles a little too.
KELLEY. (Grabs Maggie’s other hand) Whoa. Whoa. (Puts Maggie’s hand to her chest)
MAGGIE. (Worried) You okay, sweetie? Your heart is –
KELLEY. (Laughs and smiles) My heart’s kicking me for not kissing you right now.
Long pause. Maggie holds Kelley’s hand again.
KELLEY. (Hugs her) You’ve been driving me crazy, making me jealous and all. I can’t stop missing you.
MAGGIE. I didn’t think you’d give me another chance. (Releases hug)
KELLEY. Well I am now. (Puts hand in Maggie’s pocket) What do you say?
Maggie hesitantly leans into Kelley until their noses are touching.
MAGGIE. Kelley. (Kisses Kelley) Thanks for reminding me how much I’ve missed you.
KELLEY. (Kisses Maggie) I could never forget you. (Hugs Maggie) I never want to let you go.
MAGGIE. (Kisses Kelley on the cheek) I’ll be right back, boo.
KELLEY. (Clutches onto Maggie) Don’t go.
MAGGIE. I’ll be right back. (Smiles) Promise.
Maggie walks offstage. Kelley sits down on her bed and starts playing with the sheets and pillows. The sound of a phone vibrating is heard. Kelley stands up and checks her pockets. She checks her phone. She then comes across Maggie’s phone and picks it up.
KELLEY. (Confused) Girlfriend?
Pause. The phone makes another noise. Kelley hesitantly picks up the phone and dials a number.
VOICEMAIL. (In loudspeakers) You have one new voicemail and three saved messages. New message: (Kay’s voice) Hey Mag, it’s Kay. (Sighs) Look, I don’t really know what’s going on. I-I haven’t heard from you for a few days, and I’m kinda sick of waiting on you. If you cared, you would have called me by now. (Pause) This isn’t working out. I’m done. I’m tired of waiting. I’m tired of everything. I’m tired of you. (Pause) Don’t bother calling me back, unless you have something to say. (Voicemail voice) To listen to your message press one –
MAGGIE. (From offstage) I would like that drink now, if you don’t mind. (Laughs)
Kelley presses a button on Maggie’s phone. Maggie walks back onstage.
MAGGIE. Hey, you. (Smiles)
MAGGIE. Alright. (Shrugs shoulders) Talk to me when you want to. (Sits on Kelley’s bed)
KELLEY. You’re still “Baby” in my phone. (Tosses Maggie’s phone to Maggie)
MAGGIE. (Confused) You’re “Baby” in my phone too, Kell. (Pause) You’ll always be my baby.
KELLEY. You’re the only person I have in my contacts under a different name. (Glares at Maggie)
MAGGIE. (Smiles) That’s adorable.
KELLEY. Does she know…(upset) does she know how you look at her?
MAGGIE. (Looks at phone) Who is she, Kell?
KELLEY. (Turns away, wipes her eyes) She didn’t know about us, did she?
MAGGIE. Why aren’t you looking at me? (Upset) Now I think I did something again.
MAGGIE. Kelley. (Gets up) Look at me. (Touches Kelley’s shoulder)
KELLEY. You miss her still, don’t you?
MAGGIE. (Frustrated) Who, Kelley?!
KELLEY. (Turns around, yelling) Check your fuckin’ phone, Maggie!
MAGGIE. (Angry) Don’t speak to me like that!
KELLEY. (Yelling) Someone has to do the talking in this relationship, Mag! (Walks towards stage left)
Maggie checks her phone and listens to the voicemail. She looks shocked and drops her phone. Her hand goes to her mouth and she leans forward. She goes over to Kelley’s trashcan and starts to heave.
MAGGIE. (In between heaves) What. Have. I. Done? (Sits down on the bed and leans forward. She screams)
KELLEY. (Turns and looks at Maggie) What have you been doing? (Pause) I waited around for this? (Frustrated) You left me for a straight girl. (Laughs) She has a boyfriend. (Crosses arms) I thought I was waiting for you. But no, I was waiting for Kay – your fuckin’ girlfriend – to let you go. Like-like you let me go. (Cries)
MAGGIE. I-I needed a distraction. I was hurting like crazy after you left. (Coughs)
KELLEY. Hurting like crazy, huh? Like this? Puking in a trashcan, barely standing? (Shakes head) I knew she was bad news.
MAGGIE. (Yells) She’s not! (Stands up) Kay is not bad news. It was me! Me, me, ME!
KELLEY. (Shocked) Oh my God.
KELLEY. You’re in love with her.
MAGGIE. (Shakes head) We’re just friends.
KELLEY. I wasn’t making you unhappy. You-you just got bored with me. (Cries) She wasn’t even at your birthday party! I-I bought you flowers; I-I took you out to dinner. I paid for everything! (Pause) I got you a card.
KELLEY. Give me your bag. (Maggie looks up) Give-give me your bag. (Maggie doesn’t move) If you loved me, you’d let me see your bag.
Kelley throws her phone at Maggie
KELLEY. Check my phone, Maggie. Find some dirt on me. (Pause) I haven’t been with anyone since the night of your birthday. You were my last kiss. You were my first and last everything. (Maggie cries. Kelley grabs Maggie’s bag and starts taking notebooks and pieces of paper out. Takes out a notecard) Huh. (Reads) She defined you as being cute. (Glares at Maggie) I’d hate to know what definition you gave her. (Throws the bag down. Puts hands out) Let me see your phone.
Maggie struggles to hand over her phone. Kelley looks through it.
KELLEY. Oh wow! (Laughs) This is just icing on the cake. You-you saved texts she sent you? Oh how fuckin’ cute! (Keeps looking) I don’t see any saved messages from your “Baby,” but damn, your “Girlfriend” is taking up your whole memory. (Reads) Oh here’s the mistake she made. September twenty-eighth, Kay writes: “You’re definitely one of my best friends.” (Laughs) Oh here’s another one…(reads, stays quiet) October 20th? (Looks at Maggie) That’s the night we…(reads) “Don’t worry about it. I trust you. I love you too, baby girl. Everything is fine?” (Stares at Maggie) What’s fine, Maggie?
KELLEY. What’s fine –?
MAGGIE. We kissed. (Pause) We-we fuckin’ kissed, okay? It happened once.
KELLEY. (Upset) Who kissed who?
MAGGIE. (Looks away) I don’t remember.
KELLEY. Just leave.
MAGGIE. Kelley, no! (Cries, walks towards Kelley) I need you!
KELLEY. What do you need me for? (Pause. Tosses back Maggie’s phone) To get over Kay?
MAGGIE. (Picks up her stuff) Can you at least walk me to my car?
Kelley picks up her phone and sits on her bed. Maggie starts to walk offstage.
KELLEY. Stop trying to be just friends with people, Mag.
MAGGIE. Kell. (Cries) I’m sorry –
KELLEY. Kay deserves to hear that more than me.
MAGGIE. Too bad she never wants to talk to me again.
KELLEY. Apologies sound good coming from anyone.
The back of the library. There are five bookshelves that consist of four aisles. Kelley is in the first aisle; Erin is in the second; Kay is in the fourth. Erin walks downstage to a table where some of her stuff is. Kelley walks out with a book in her hand. They make eye contact.
ERIN. Hey, you. Haven’t seen you in awhile. How –?
KELLEY. I’m glad I bumped into you. Can we go on a walk or something? I need to –
Kay walks out of the bookshelf aisle.
KAY. Erin, I’ll be right…
Kelley and Kay make eye contact.
ERIN. (Nods head) I’ll be here.
Kay grabs her bag and walks offstage.
ERIN. Let’s sit. (They sit down at the table) So, what’s going on? Are you and Maggie back together?
KELLEY. As of last night, yes. (Pause) Not-not now though. (Pause) I really gotta set some things straight with Kay.
ERIN. I don’t think Kay wants to talk about this anymore.
KELLEY. (Shrugs shoulders) You weren’t a part of this, Erin. I really need something confirmed.
ERIN. (Touches Kelley’s shoulder) I understand. (Gets up and grabs her stuff.)
Kay walks back on stage and walks over to Erin.
ERIN. (Pulls Kay aside) You and Kelley should talk.
KAY. Are you fuckin’ serious? She’s gonna rip me a new asshole!
ERIN. If she does, text me. (Sighs) I’ll be in the student center if you need me.
Kay hesitantly walks over to the table. As Erin’s leaving, Maggie scurries in. They bump into each other.
MAGGIE. There you are! Oh my God, I need to talk to you.
ERIN. Come with me then. I’m going to the –
Maggie is looking past Erin.
MAGGIE. (Afraid) You kidding me right now? They are both here? We-we gotta go! (Starts pulling Erin offstage with her)
ERIN. Calm down, Mag –
MAGGIE. I don’t want them to see me!
ERIN. At this point, they don’t even know you exist. (Takes Maggie’s hand) Let’s go. (They walk offstage)
Kay and Kelley sit at the table together, not looking at each other.
KELLEY. How was your –?
KAY. Didn’t know you were a fan of small talk, (Looks at Kelley) especially with me.
KELLEY. I’m a bit desperate.
KAY. Yeah. Well, I’m a bit tired of this. (Opens backpack and takes out a notebook)
Kelley looks at the notebook.
KELLEY. I don’t think I thanked you enough for the card the other day. (Pause) I’m sorry about how I reacted –
KAY. (Frustrated) Do you throw gifts at people often? Or is it just a fucked up way of saying you like me?
KELLEY. Look, Kay, I’m just trying to talk to you and –
KAY. About what? (Leans back) I know what you want to talk about, Kelley. (Kelley looks at her) So let’s get to it.
KELLEY. Did Maggie ever talk about me?
KAY. Not until after we met.
KELLEY. (Leans forward, head in hands) Oh wow.
KAY. She used to talk about her ex a lot though. (Writes) Kyle. (Kelley looks up) Have you ever heard of him?
KELLEY. What was he like?
KAY. All I know is that they went to the same high school. They were in –
KELLEY. Math class together? (Looks at Kay)
KAY. (Smiles) Good guess.
KELLEY. Lucky me.
KAY. After graduation they got together. He apparently goes here, and that’s why she wanted to stay with him. (Shrugs shoulders) Not a fan of the long distance thing I guess. (Pause) Then a week after her birthday they broke up.
KELLEY. Did she tell you why?
KAY. Said he wasn’t doing it for her anymore. Then she –
KELLEY. Stuck to you like glue ever since?
Kay and Kelley look at each other.
KELLEY. Do you give people nicknames? Or at least change their names in your phone?
KAY. Of course. John is “Baby Boy.” (Pause) I had Maggie in there as “Magster” for a bit.
KELLEY. That’s it?
KAY. This past week she was in my phone as “Bitch.” (Laughs uncomfortably. Checks phone) I deleted her number though. I mean, who wants to talk to a bitch?
KELLEY. You deleted her number? (Looks away) Wow. Things got pretty intense then, huh?
KAY. More exhausting than intense. (Pause) What did she say about me? (Kelley looks at Kay confused) After you two left here on Thursday.
KELLEY. (Uneasy) Nothing really.
KAY. What the hell are you doing here then?
KELLEY. (Shrugs shoulders) I…I don’t know.
KAY. She’s not with you. Something must have happened.
KELLEY. She’s not with you!
KAY. Why are you defending yourself?
KELLEY. I’m not!
KAY. (Writes) Never mind then.
KELLEY. What does it mean to be just friends with someone?
KAY. It probably means something good to one person, and something pretty shitty for the other. (Stops writing and looks at Kelley) Why do you ask?
KELLEY. Would you say…(sighs) Would you say you and Maggie were just friends?
KAY. I’d like to think so, yes.
KELLEY. She has you in her phone as “Girlfriend.”
KAY. (Writes) I know. (Kelley looks surprised) When I first got her number, I put her in as “Magster.” After her and Kyle broke up, she started calling me her girlfriend. Said I was her soul mate one day just because we grabbed for the same straw at lunch. So I went along with the joke, put her in as “Girlfriend.” Lasted maybe a month…
KELLEY. Just a month –?
KAY. (Looks at Kelley) John got ahold of my phone. (Goes back to writing) Probably at the worst time too. (Laughs) Phone buzzes, he picks it up and it reads, message from “Girlfriend,” she wrote: Thanks to you, I have a reason to smile. (Pause) If I was him, I would have broken up with me.
KELLEY. I would have left you that second!
KAY. Luckily he didn’t. He doesn’t mind listening to an explanation.
KELLEY. Can’t believe he believed you. (Laughs. Kay glares at Kelley) A contact name “Girlfriend” doesn’t look so good in the phone of a straight girl.
KAY. I had told him about Maggie –
KELLEY. What about her?
KAY. (Hesitates) She…she made me feel uncomfortable a lot.
KELLEY. (Leans into Kay) She couldn’t help herself! You and your swag. (Kisses Kay on the cheek)
Kay pushes her away.
KELLEY. Whoa! Excuse me! Didn’t know you were so sensitive. (Pause) Didn’t know you had to be in the mood.
KAY. The mood?
KELLEY. (Crosses arms) Come on, Kay. No one is here.
KAY. (Looks around) What?
KELLEY. (Sarcastic) Oh! Now you’re being defensive!
KAY. I don’t even know what you are attacking me for!
KELLEY. (Slams fist on table) Goddamn it, Kay, stop being so stubborn!
KAY. Well why don’t you stop being so vague?
KELLEY. (Yells) I don’t have time to wait!
KAY. (Slams fist on table) I don’t have time to tell you something you already know!
KELLEY. So it is true?
KAY. (Breathes heavily) Yeah, Kelley. Whatever.
KELLEY. Wow. (Almost crying) I can’t believe she’d leave me for someone like you.
KELLEY. She didn’t even have the backbone to tell you about me. (Wipes eyes) Fuckin’ Kyle! Wow, how creative! (Cries) You know, she’s saved almost every text message you’ve sent her. When you read them out of context, it makes sense why you’re her “Girlfriend.” (Pause) She didn’t save one text from me, though. She-she lied to me, too. I checked her phone. I’m in her phone as “Kelley.” Not “Kell,” not any other nickname, no, just “Kelley.” She knows you for a month and you’re her girlfriend. (Cries) Wow. Just…just wow.
KAY. We weren’t even together though. I’m with –
KELLEY. Didn’t matter to her! (Wipes eyes) I spent every fuckin’ dime of mine on that bitch. All summer long. First two weeks of our relationship, I spent all of my graduation money. Three hundred dollars. All of it. Gone. (Yells) What did you do for her? Except give her something to look at?
KAY. (Annoyed) I listened to her complain about you. About (makes quotes with fingers) “Kyle.”
KELLEY. Congratulations. (Pats Kay’s hand) You were her dog. (Pause) No wait. I’m sorry. You were her rebound. Thanks for boomeranging her back into my life.
KAY. (Angry) Isn’t that what you wanted?
KELLEY. I just wanted you gone. (Pause) I never wanted you to exist. (Upset) You leave, and she comes back to me just to say that she loves you. I thought I got rid of the problem.
KAY. I got rid of myself. You didn’t do shit. (Writes)
KELLEY. Just admit it. You fell in love with her too. (Kay looks up) I know you kissed her, Kay.
KELLEY. (Leans back) What took you so long to end it with Maggie? She had dirt on you!
KAY. (Laughs) You really think Mag and I kissed? (Laughs harder) You’re gonna believe her? You kidding me? (Calms down from laughing) Wow. Now, now, wait. Are we talking about the same girl? The chick who referred to you as an ex-boyfriend so that I would feel more comfortable about her sexuality, even though deep down I knew she wanted me? (Pause) We almost kissed.
KELLEY. Almost kiss –?
KAY. We were here actually. (Points to one of the aisles) It was the night you two broke up. We got dinner, came here to do some homework. I was helping her look for an encyclopedia – like the good dog I am – and I’m not gonna lie, she was pretty crushed about you. (Shrugs shoulders) I gave her a hug. (Stands up to imitate her description) She starts swaying and says, “Oh my God, we are dancing. Kyle and I never danced.” (Sways) Before I know it, my back is against the shelves and her nose is touching mine and she says, “I know it was your last piece, but can I have some of that strawberry banana gum now?” (Sits back down) You still wonder why she hates working in the library?
Erin walks onstage. Kay looks behind her and starts to pack her stuff. Kelley stays silent.
KAY. Whoever or whatever you choose to believe, it doesn’t matter to me. You know me, I don’t judge. (Picks up stuff)
KELLEY. (Startled) Kay…Kay…I am kinda sorry. I…I –
KAY. Hey. (Touches Kelley’s shoulder) It’s kinda okay.
Kay and Erin walk offstage. Kelley turns around and looks at the bookshelves, sighs, and puts her head down.