Don’t Be That Friend

Here’s some advice: You Need to Let Your Friends Go & Enjoy Their Lives!!!

Don’t be the reason someone didn’t pursue his/her dream because you needed their daily/weekly affection. Don’t suffocate someone the minute he/she starts to show someone else attention. You need to learn to let people go in order to feel secure in the relationship. You should be able to move across the country tomorrow, live somewhere new for two or three years, and when you come back to visit, feel confident in how much you have evolved to reach out to an old friend and simply catch up in a quick chat over coffee.

Personally there’s only a few people who I feel the need to talk to on a daily basis: my fiancé, my boss and my parents. I of course have a close-knit circle of friends I hear from on a daily, weekly or monthly basis. But the conversation is quick, healthy and right to the point. No drawn out, “OMG! Where have you been? Why haven’t I seen you?”

*shudder*

It’s healthy to move on emotionally (or physically) and invest our time elsewhere. There’s very few people who still stay in contact with their “best friend” from high school. I can honestly say I don’t remember the last time I spoke to or saw my close friends from high school. Do I see them proceed with their lives on Facebook? Yes. Am I annoyed they haven’t reached out to me? No. 

One of the best friends I ever had growing up was someone I met at a theater camp. We went seven years with out speaking until we finally reunited two years ago. She’s out in California finishing her last year in college and plans to stay out there and pursue her career. What I love about our friendship is there is zero expectations. Like I noted – we can literally go years with out talking or seeing each other – and when we do meet up, we pick up right where we left off. Why should I care about all the time she isn’t investing in me, when I am working on my own life and goals? I don’t have time to even think about her not thinking about me (do you see how silly this is?).

Unless your friend is emotionally abusive (and if they are, please distance yourself as soon as possible), you shouldn’t feel insecure about the relationship. Step back and evaluate your own life. Why are you so fixated on why this friend isn’t paying attention to you? Maybe you should move to another state, try something new, or start a new friendship. Sometimes it’s best to take some time to work on yourself, before putting that burden on someone else.

 

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