Readers & Followers,
The title of this blog post may seem a bit silly (yes, that’s my motive), but if you were to ask yourself if you knew the power of saying “no” to any question or offer, would you say yes? Well, you probably would say “yes.” Recently, I’ve noticed that some people struggle with answering “no.” What’s the problem? You shouldn’t fear rejection when you’re about to reject the other person’s offer/question.
Some people are too worried about how other’s feel or the outcome of the situation, that they just agree. In certain situations, agreeing and taking the high-road are the best solutions. But when it comes to making plans with a friend on a day you aren’t sure your significant other has a day off or not, going along with the conversation just because you want it to end quickly, will not always give you what you want.
The biggest concerns these anti-disagreement pleaders tend to share are what the other person’s motive is and what their reaction will be. Stop right there. Have a conversation. STOP thinking the person has a motive. JUST because someone asks what your work schedule is, doesn’t mean they want to give/take a shift. JUST because someone asks what you’re up to, doesn’t mean they are trying to make plans. If these people have a motive, they will get right to the point. As for caring about this person’s feelings, think about how they have treated YOU in the past. If this is a friend that constantly changes/cancels plans with you last minute, then blowing them off or being flaky should not be hard to do. If you have other plans or you bluntly do not want to see them, be a little selfish: “No, I can’t.” If they ask why or what else you’re up to, it honestly is none of their business. But DO not start making excuses once the conversation turns.
Making excuses is just as bad as not being able to say “no;” you are not being honest to your friend or yourself. If this person asks what else you are up to, you do not have to answer; but if you do, do not lie and say you’re working, at the mall, etc. How do you not know if they’re walking into the mall or your job right now? Do not set yourself up for failure, which leads into more questions, which leads into more lies.
When it comes to being asked questions about anything, in the back of your head you should always be thinking about your priorities: job, girlfriend/boyfriend, school work, team/art practice or condition of vehicle (low on gas, lack of oil, etc). Now, I’m not saying you need to lock yourself in a room with everything and everyone who means the world to you, but the older you get the more responsibilities you will have. Suddenly things like sleeping over friends’ houses or blowing money at the mall will not be stomached well.
So I ask you again, do you KNOW the power of NO?
– DaHv
Very good article that more people should read and consider. People need to learn when to say no or yes.